That is an EXACT quote I received from a “customer service” representative this morning.
You are probably thinking, “So? You must’ve interrupted them.” You are right, I did, several times.
As Paul Harvey liked to say, “and now the rest of the story.”
Yesterday, in the mail, I received a new business VISA card to replace the one expiring next month. The issuer isn’t important because they are all outsourcing their customer service overseas in an attempt to cut costs.
So, this morning, I called to activate it.
After keying in all of the bits their automated system asked for, I was rewarded with, “Please hold while I transfer you to a customer service member who can help you.”
Five minutes later I am met with the voice of someone I can barely understand. They ask for the exact same information I keyed in earlier and after having to ask them to repeat things a few times we finally get everything exchanged.
Then the sales pitch started for their “credit protection services”.
“No thank you,” I interrupted.
She didn’t even miss a beat, she just kept right on with the pitch.
“No. Thank. You.” I was more emphatic this time.
She continued.
Finally, I asked, “Has the card been activated yet?”
Then she stopped and replied, “I am sorry, but I cannot be answering your question until I finish reading this.” Then she started over!
I hung up.
Later today, I will visit the local branch of the issuer to share my opinion of this experience and to ask them to check to make sure the card has been activated properly. If it hasn’t, they can either activate it for me or they can close the account. From this point forward, I will refuse to interact with any customer service member of this bank who is not fluent in my language.
Say whatever bad things you wish of me for that, but life is just too damn short to waste time on basic communication issues with any company I do business with. There are other choices out there.
Tags: Customer Service
Over the last 18 months I have managed the rewrite of several software tools my partners and I use in our investing businesses. When we embarked on this journey we had very high hopes. We were going to outsource. The outsourcing firms give really GREAT interview, by the way.
Our list of “benefits” was long. We were going to be able to get everything rewritten using current technology; we would get a long list of features added; save a ton of money; and productize them into something we could offer to others.
The projects started well, as just about all projects do. I have developed enough software and managed enough teams to know the start is easy, it’s the finish that’s hard.
As the months went by it became increasingly clear we were not dealing with developers in the sense I knew them. See, I am used to a developer who is a problem solver. If I have to virtually write the software for the developer to translate that into the programming language, I might as well take that last step.
Every penny we thought we were going to save was eaten up by resources needed to guide and essentially spoon feed the “developers” writing the code.
Finally, about four months ago I made the decision to freeze the code. The basic functionality had been written but it needed to be cleaned up and the performance improved. We concluded our business arrangement and parted company. The outsourcing firm has asked if we’d be willing to talk to potential clients about our experience.
The number of new features added after more than a year of development? Zero. Hmmm, would I be willing to talk to your potential clients? Are you sure you want me to do that?
For the last four months, I and one other developer have been cleaning up the code and improving the performance. I can’t say enough good things about Dave and I really do wish I could convince him to come to work for us permanently. But Dave has other plans that involve traveling around the world. He knows he has a spot waiting here with us should he ever decide to settle down somewhere.
Anyway, at this point, all but one tool has been migrated to the newer technologies. Unfortunately, it is the one tool I would’ve really liked to have migrated. However, it was apparent there was absolutely no way it would be successful if included in the outsourcing projects.
I will be looking to hire some great development talent over the next few months and I’ve always had a long list of things I look for in a software developer. That list grew significantly because of this outsourcing ordeal.
And that is about the only real positive that came out of it.
Tags: Consulting, CRM/SFA, FastDraft, Software
I am on a quest. I want to add the blogs and other websites you read on a regular basis to this blog. It will be in a blogroll in the right hand column.
You can submit them either through a comment below or the contact me page above. The link will be added as long as it is a site that covers or is related to investing, is not pornographic, does not promote anything illegal or hateful and in my sole subjective opinion, is useful to other readers. I am pretty generous with my “useful” designation.
It does not matter whether the site links back to this blog or not. Getting links is not the purpose, compiling a useful list of resources is the purpose.
So, submit those links!
Tags: Investing
Over the years, I’ve read a lot of guru materials. At the predecessor of the Field Guide for Real Estate Investors we used to do extensive evaluations of guru materials. A member would purchase a book, ebook, home study course, etc and send it to us to be examined and evaluated. That experience taught me a lot about the gurus, their methods and their real experience levels with the methods and successes they claimed.
Over the years we developed some objective metrics to gauge the value of the materials.
For example, margin size. There are accepted standards for “normal” margins in any kind of printed material. There are entire industry groups dedicated to helping with normalization of layout and such. Their standards adjust from time to time but they are amazingly consistent over time. When margins exceed the accepted norms, our objective metrics would reflect that. In the most extreme case the margins were 2.5 inches on each side of the page and three inches at the top and bottom. That left a “printed” area of 17.5 square inches out of 93.5 available inches on the page. In other words, less than 19% of the available area on a page is used. But, they also double spaced the text, so it was really less than 10% was used.
Compare that to the typical or normal used in the printing industry of about 68% of the area being used you can see this guru’s materials took up about 7 times more space than they should. So, the 150 “page” book they advertised was really about 21 real pages. At $99 that meant each page costs about $5.
Another area that has always made me chuckle is the amount of time a guru will spend on background or filler material. Sticking with the example above, this guru’s materials “taught” how to buy subject to existing financing. Yet, more than half the book was about their life story. Almost 11 of the 21 real pages were devoted to telling about where they started and how awful their life was before they “discovered” how to do this new thing!
Of the ten pages left, five were spent telling how great the reader’s life will be after they start following the “system”.
In less than five real pages, they described the mechanics of buying subject to the existing financing. Only five pages dealt with the subject advertised to sell the eBook! That means the real cost per page of the real subject matter covered was about $20 per page.
Now, I am not saying motivational materials have no place in this world. But, motivational materials disguised the way the gurus do are useless to a serious investor. There are some really great motivational speakers and writers. They can help you make much needed mental adjustments in your thinking process that will directly affect your long term success. But, they don’t claim to be showing you the secrets the rich keep for themselves and then spend most of time on self gratification through an autobiography.
Just something to think about as you are reading your next squeeze page where the guru is breathlessly telling their life story leading to the discovery they want to sell you. Don’t be surprised when you get to read that life story, in even more time and space wasting detail, when you get the materials.
Tags: False Hope, Gurus, Investing
One of the suggestions I’ve received is to make the podcasts more fun using parodies of the gurus.
So, take a listen and tell me if this goes too far. Leave your reaction in the comments below.
Yesterday, Vice President Joe “The Plagiarizer” Biden said everyone just guessed wrong about the employment numbers. He also said, even though they put forth the myth of The Porkulus Package keeping unemployment at 8% or less for the year, the fact that it is now over 9% AND CLIMBING should not diminish support for the Porkulus Package.
Now, there are a number of problems with this. Not the least of which is it is an outright lie. Not everyone guessed wrong about the consequences of the Porkulus bill. In fact, intelligent people didn’t “guess” at all. And, those of us who didn’t “guess” have not been surprised by the unemployment numbers.
Well, at least one thing has been confirmed. The numbers from the Obama Administration are just “guesses” and they aren’t able to “guess” very well.
Tags: False Hope, Obama
I got up this morning a little earlier than usual, fired up the MacBook Pro to check email (and because I’m a parent, the weather at the summer camp my son is attending this week.)
Anyway, I open my email and receive this…
I want to thank you, the last segment episode 5 of your podcast is exactly what I needed to hear. I am trying to get started but agents and brokers keep shutting me down hard saying my offers aren’t reasonable. Thursday morning I sent a hand written letter like you said to do and the next day the owner called me! I was so excited we open escrow [Monday].
I have added this to my iTunes subscriptions. I look forward to learning beyond the same hype the others are covering. You cover stuff I have not heard or read any where else in the three years I have been learning. If you are ever in the Denver, Co area please let me know I know I would enjoy seeing you speak live.
A new fan,
Dan
Ft Collins, CO.
I have asked Dan if I can use his last name, if he agrees I will update this post.
I am very happy Dan was able to gain something from the podcast. I am trying hard to not spend much time on the same old stuff the gurus and wannabes cover. After all, how many times do you need someone to walk you through the hype, uh, I mean, system for buying subject to the existing financing? The same old 50,000 foot view is pointless. I want to go beyond that and as Dan put it, “cover stuff [you won't] hear or read anywhere else.”
That’s my goal for The AntiGuru Radio Show.
Tags: Advice, Brokers, Gurus, Investing, Podcast, Real Estate Agents, Realtor
Yesterday, I received a phone call asking if I would be interested in speaking at a conference.
“Maybe,” was my reply.
“Great! We want to tie into the anti guru thing you’ve got going there because [removed] isn’t your typical guru. I’m sure once you meet them you will agree they are the real deal and …”
“Do you know how many times I’ve heard that?” I interrupted.
“Heard what?” they asked.
“That so-and-so is the real deal and unlike the gurus I detest,” was my reply.
“No, really. [removed] has made more money for others than he has ever earned himself. He does this to pay forward. His fully automatic system makes it easy for anyone to get into real estate with no risk, no hassles and and unlimited income stream for the rest of their lives. He …”
“You must have brown eyes,” I said.
“What? My eyes are greenish. Why did you say that? Wait, are you saying I am full of #@$%?”
“Actually, I said, ‘You must have brown eyes’,” was my reply, “but, I wouldn’t disagree with the inference you drew from my comment.”
“By the way,” I continued. “If this system of theirs is as good as you say, why do they need to spend time, effort and money to market it?”
“Huh? They want others to enjoy the riches they have received from this system and that is why they are sharing it with the world. This is a life changing opportunity for anyone smart enough to …”
“Do they charge for someone to learn this magic system?” I asked.
“Well, do you work for free? Do you host your show without the expectation of compensation? Do you do everything you do for free?” was their weak reply.
“No, but I am not claiming my motives to be altruistic. What’s more, I don’t purport to have some kind of magic system like you describe. I provide information through a variety of channels targeted to serious investors. I …”
“Then you understand why they couldn’t afford to just give something this powerful away, right?” they interrupted me this time.
“Oh, I understand why they charge what they charge. I completely understand the marketing model. My problem is with the bogus claims. My problem is with targeting people who don’t have a clue about what they are getting into.”
The conversation kind of went downhill from there.
You know, for 25 years I’ve seen gurus come and go and it is always the same. They all claim to have the magic secret if you just pay them enough and work your way through the continual upsell process.
Astonishingly, about an hour after the call, I received an email from them. They still wanted me to speak, but would need to “approve the text in advance”.
Yep, I’m pretty sure their eyes really are brown.
Tags: Advice, Consulting, Gurus, Investing, Podcast
I read many of the guru blogs.
Why would I do that?
There are a couple of reasons, first many of them are great for a good laugh or two as they breathlessly proclaim their latest invention/discovery/creation of a technique that will make you instantly rich, better looking and sexually satisfied while you sit and do nothing. As an aside, notice how the guru types hype passiveness? Almost like watching television? Now why do you suppose that is the case?
Anyway, back to my point. They are good for a laugh or two.
Another reason I read their blogs is because by aggregating multiple gurus you can determine the “trend” the gurus are taking. Make no mistake, the guru business is more incestuous and closer knit than just about any other you can imagine. The gurus now have their own conferences on how to be a better guru. No, they don’t call them that but when the sole purpose of conference is to discuss and show ways to increase conversions in an email marketing campaign for infopreneurs, well, I think you get the idea.
I am always adding the list of gurus I read and research regularly. If you have a guru’s blog you’d like to suggest I add to my list of regular offenders, please either leave it in the comments below or through the contact link on the menu at the top of this page.
Also, listen to The AntiGuru Radio podcast later today to hear the latest thing that has the gurus all a-twitter. Yeah, that was a bad pun, but listen and hopefully it will make sense.
You know the kind I am talking about. The kind where no matter which way you turn, no matter what action you take, Murphy is just lurking in the wings to muck it all up.
Off and on this morning, I have been trying to record audio for the podcasts. I am a little behind and needed to get some recorded and passed to the techie guys to get it bundled and uploaded to the site.
Well, first we have a contractor doing something in the area that is causing short duration power blips. No problem the said they would be finished by 10:30 AM and they were.
The “celebration” was short lived and interrupted by the sound of chain saws across the street cutting down a large tree.
There is a methodic process to cutting down a tree. They climb it and cut the limbs off and then start working on the trunk.
The sound of the chain saw is only interrupted by the occasional thud as a large part of the tree hits the ground.
I opted not to create a full recording chamber.
Thank goodness for a white noise generator to dampen the ambient sounds.
Doesn’t do much for the thud though.
Tags: Podcast
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